Snowflake Parenting.

It's interesting when Baby Boomers complain about the current generation because they don't often admit their part in raising the current generation.

Somehow it's a shock when parents see their kids turn out a disaster, surely it's the school's fault, the government or the partner but where's the individual responsibility?

As a new Dad, I am acutely aware of the responsibility I bear to raise a child that isn't a conformist but also is someone people actually like. Instilling firm boundaries, principles to life, guidelines and guiding factors for them to make decisions for themselves and own the consequences of it instead of wrapping them in cotton wool and becoming an overbearing parent who shoulder's all of their decisions until they are adults.

It may seem harsh but it's what free will is all about.

From birth to 3 years; if you get it right you can set the child up for a good life. If you do it wrong then you spend the REST of your life parenting your kids. 

When the toddler starts asking "why" you know their reasoning faculty is being developed and a filter is starting to layer over the subconscious mind - simply put it's harder for new habits, concepts, behaviors to go in. 

By 7 years old they have a formed persona, the reasoning faculty is now developing and thinking is starting to form. You have SET most of their behavior's towards life.

Although they can change it's so much harder and longer - if at all.

Over the last 6 years, I have observed the children and teens in my dance studio. Then I have watched the behavior and interactions between the parents and the kids.

Then I have observed the correlation between attitudes to classwork, enthusiasm towards challenges, level of commitment to exams and most importantly NOT QUITTING when it's hard.

And yes, YOU, parents are to blame for kids who are consistently quitting and never achieving anything [until they are adults then it's up to them].

But parents also to blame for when your kids crush it, get the top grade, win big, or get all the rewards.

Both are reflections of the parents and both are learned skills and passed on choices.

Want to know something appalling?

There are parents I have NEVER met in 6 years, yet their kids have come in every week!

The correlation between a child's behavior and parenting is so obvious. 

I personally don't think not knowing is a reasonable answer.

There's a bunch of snowflake parents who are too scared to take a short term sacrifice [the kids not liking them] for a long term gain [the kids winning in life and then loving them for it].

What am I talking about here?

Participation trophies....No, no, no no just...pfft.

No, if you didn't win you shouldn't get anything except more training. 

Encouraging your kids to be professional quitters.

Oh wow, this one is personal for me. How many times I have seen parents pander to their children and allow them to quit because things get serious or things get tough.

"Finish what you start and then change the decision if you feel it's no longer right for you" is good advice here.

It turns them into weak adults who cry when the unfair reality of life hit's them and they CAN'T step up and overcome because they are used to quitting throughout their childhood. 

I believe it's the reason people become addicts in one form or another because deep down they don't have the guts to persevere long enough because...well, they never have.

I recently helped a boy who had already "been through" [code for quit] several schools and after me helping him get his new business set up and making thousands of dollars within a couple of weeks he suddenly pulled the pin and went weird. 

When asked to acknowledge his pattern of his quitting, not honoring his own commitment's to himself and our agreements when it got tough he simply said: "I'm not quitting." He just didn't get it; it was the very definition of giving up and his parents let him do it.

What sort of lesson is that?

I wrote a blog earlier about when you should quit and when it's time to move on as there is ignorance in sticking to something for too long if it's not working.

But this situation was a key learning moment for this boy to learn not to give up; not to quit and to finish what you start.

Lessons I am already teaching my baby.

I don't believe they think they are enabling poor behavior but they are basically rolling out the red carpet to a life of sheer misery, attachment issues, and commitment problems.

Which are already manifesting into reality.

Another thing parents fail to grasp is the model of home-life and that relationships are the very templates that kids COPY. 

They grow up unconsciously following the same behavior of their parents. 

If they didn't get the love they needed from one parent; then attachment issues form in the future.

You can see how the patterns will play out just by observing your own results.

The most important thing to do is to LET KIDS FAIL every day!

Rejoice in it, bathe in it, and most importantly LEARN from it because it's how you get tough to handle bigger opportunities. 

Nurturing and protection are hardwired for us parents and a safe space at home is vital to recharge but when the kids take the first step out of the home for the day; its GAME ON!

Sharpen up.

Go for it.

Life NEVER turns out exactly the way you plan to be flexible, be aware, and be ready to shift with the winds of change.

Be open-hearted but be smart about the choices and decisions because you're going to have to own every single consequence of the decision.

If you decide to stick to something; see it through and then change if you must.

It is never too late to learn, adapt, make amends, fix your errors and pull your kids into line to turn them into productive, responsible, awesome people.

Vaughan.