How to Fail.

Failing at something and seeing yourself as a failure as a result of the failed event is a woeful misinterpretation of success and winning.

The event in an of itself means nothing but the meaning you attach to it determines everything.

Maxwell Maltz in his classic book Pyscho-Cybernetic's points out there are two types of individuals.

Those with a success self-image and those with a failure self-image.

Your self-image is a mirror to the world.

It is how you see yourself in relationship to circumstance, events, and life. 

Let take the example of a business going out of business which would be deemed a failed event.

The person with a success self-image would determine the meaning of this event to be "par for the course" or a strike to be proud of against the backdrop of many other failed events.

Not something to shy away from, something to embrace.

Ultimately this person would find the lessons from the event and move on to the next adventure but this time with more wisdom and experience with the aim to never repeat the same mistakes.

By contrast, the failure self-image individual would internalize the failed event against himself. 

They would take the event to mean they are a bad business person, that they are not good enough, they knew they should never have taken the risk.

One of the most fascinating parts to the self-image is that a failure self-image person can with force, persistence and sheer will strike it successful but they will unconsciously sabotage their wins because at the root level they never see themselves as successful in their self-image.

Failing in and of itself to someone with a success self-image is always about learning and lessons.

They also know that you'll never fail at something unless you quit.

That you don't seek failure as it is a necessary and mandatory part of successful living.

They don't believe in failing fast and often because you get more of that which you seek but just because they don't seek failure doesn't mean it won't happen.

The truth is the most successful people have failed far more than they have won.

Michael Jordan was ranked one of the highest of all-time in NBA for shots missed but everyone remembers him for being the highest-ranked scorer of all time.

It's easy to hear the chants and cliches like...

You can do it.

A setback is a setup for a comeback.

Failing is one step closer to succeeding.

Fall down 9 times, get up 10.

You can motivate yourself all you like, you can write affirmations, make declarations, heck you can even alter some of your beliefs, change your environment, detox negative influences but this will only be temporary if you never alter the self-image from one who sees themselves as a failure to one who sees themselves as a success, no matter the event. 

So if you want to know how to fail start by altering your self-image and you never will.

Vaughan.