Cherry Picking Advice.

Throughout my career in coaching, I have always done my best to not give advice to people who don’t ask for it.

It can create tension and people really have to be ready to change in order to seek true help.

One thing I have noticed is those who “cherry-pick” advice. 

This is not the same as seeking answers.

The distinction is when you hear sound advice, from a trusted source, who has demonstrated they know what they are talking about and you simply pick and choose the pieces that make you feel comfortable.

There is a reason people get rubbed the wrong way and that’s because when a new idea is presented to the one you are operating with it is a foreign object to your mind.

A new way of doing things can make you feel anxious, stressed and even overwhelmed. 

That's because your current paradigm (your conditioning) is being challenged. 

It doesn’t mean it’s wrong advice or even that you are wrong to feel that way.

What it means is you should investigate the whole idea, the whole concept, the whole picture before you make a decision on what you are going to do. 

I remember when I had a student and she was presented with an opportunity to dance overseas in one of the worlds most prestigious world championships; something dancers work their entire life to be able to access and only the top 2% make it. 

Ignoring any encouragement to go she said “I don’t have the money”  but then all of a sudden she decided to take a trip to Thailand instead of around the same time. 

Of course, money appears when the decision is made.

But ignoring the whole picture of how far she had come and that these are the moments you have been waiting for...she fizzled out and never fulfilled her potential and the decade of training amounted to zero in terms of lifetime achievement and a beautiful experience to always treasure.

This is NOT uncommon. I know so many people that quit just before they were right at the moment of real victory.

I am a very strong-willed person but I make sure I seek the advice from my coaches and mentors and if they say to stand on my head for 5 minutes per day; I may ask why but then I do it. 

Great leaders must be great followers.

To cherry-pick advice is to only make yourself feel justified about your mediocre performance in the short term but your often missing out on the big win.

Either do all the advice and see what happens to your results or don’t bother asking. 

Vaughan.